Co sleeping- A Whole New World of Criticism

Before you become a parent you have all these “ideas” and “plans” on how you are going to parent one day.

“My child will never play with pretend weapons!”

-takes his nurf gun EVERYWHERE- has to ‘shoot’ his food before he can eat [insert mouth gun noises]- PEW PEW!

“My child will never wear a ‘character shirt!”

- Just bought a 3 pack on AMAZON it will be here in 2 days.

What I’m trying to say is once your babies are actually Earth side, EVERYTHING can change.

Not only do you have to adjust to becoming a parent, you have to adjust to this whole new world of criticism.

My first night at home with my first born Maximus, was indescribable.

I had an emergency cesarean section after 27 hours of labor!

I was allergic to the medical tape they put across my incision and I got chemical burns!

ACROSS my incision! NEED I SAY MORE!

I was released from the hospital after four days. The nurses were so helpful and I was in such a dream state being a new Mama, I didn’t realize everything was going to be so different once I got home.

I couldn’t walk without pressing a pillow against my belly.

I couldn’t walk and talk at the same time because it took too many muscles.

I couldn’t get out of bed by myself.

I couldn’t lift myself off a toilet.

Talk about feeling helpless.. but wait I had a new born!

When you hear people say when you become a Mom/Dad you instantly become a Super Hero. Well it’s true. Some how some way, you do it.

You make it happen.

My first night home with Maximus was indescribable.

It’s now, go time!

I was in so much pain but I just had to block it out.

I didn’t want to stop holding him.

He was cracking a smile at four days old! He was five pounds of pure bliss. Everything I ever wanted, tucked away safely in my arms. I was breastfeeding and the skin to skin was seriously magical.

After a few hectic hours we got the baby to sleep in his perfect, re-modeled nursery. As my husband and I laid in bed discussing what a whirlwind the past 9 months have been, that HE- OUR BABY is here. I started sobbing UNCONTROLLABLY.

I needed my baby with me!

I needed him next to me, on top of me.. I just needed him.

He was inside of me for 9 months. Truly, the only thing I think I’ve made from scratch!

I was missing a part of me.

My heart was only 15 feet away but I needed him with me.

We brought him into bed with us.

I could hear him breathe.

I could hear him sniffle.

I could here him smack his tongue.

He was alive and real and he was my baby.

(Max is my rainbow baby 🌈 , so I have some crazy anxiety when it comes to my kids)

I‘ve waited for this moment my entire life.

I now have my heart on the outside of my body.

3 years later I lay awake in bed listening to my Husband breathe, my Son breathe and now my DAUGHTER breathe.

The sun is starting to peak inside our window and I’m in complete bliss.

This is my happy place.

Squished in between 3 bodies, and my 2 chihuahuas at my feet keeping me warm.

So I choose to co-sleep. Bring on the criticism- this is one thing I’ll never change.

While you have an opinion on my sleeping arrangements- I’ll just be here, in my happy place.

One day they won’t be in my bed and I will miss it so much. So I’m going to let them take over my spot, because I can hear them breathe and that, that is Mama’s happy place.